Message from the Past

Posted by admin23 on December 29, 2009

I really didn’t think I would be posting again so soon…I assumed I would have a few days…well you know what they say about assuming…

So my Aunt called me yesterday to let me know that my father a.k.a. the sperm donor had died back on December 16th…no news bad or good  travels fast in my family…My Aunt had been instructed by my dying  father and his wife  not to mention his passing to myself or my brother…hmmm well the cats out of the bag now. I got the job of informing the family that he had died. He…my, and I use the term loosely, father cut us off years ago….Its sad really I have absolutely no real emotion about this…I mean he was my father and I should have all these warm fuzzy memories about him…I got zip…what I do remember is the bike he bought me and all my baby photos being disposed of when he quit paying rent on the apartment he had…My mom, brother and I struggling to get by when he quit paying child support…The time he stole the car from my mom…good times I tell you…or when they were married the knock down drag outs they would have after my brother and I went to bed…the fact that I couldn’t get friends to spend the night at my house because the fights between my folks were so loud….The last time I spoke to my father was some 18 years ago…He came into town for the holidays, and was supposed to come to my home, and visit with his first grandson (my brat), but instead drove a half hour off the freeway into Battle Ground WA, and then called me…expecting me to borrow a car and drive in the snow/ice storm to visit him with a two week old infant and a not quite two yr. old toddler while he stayed at my step sisters…That was it! the straw that broke the camels back…Years of mental abuse finally added up, and I was done…we never spoke after that. Regrets? possibly I haven’t really decided yet what those would be…My kids didn’t lack a grandfather…My Mom’s husband is wonderful…Did I miss having a father?…sadly no.